Real Estate Dictionary- Simplified for the Common Man
A long time has passed ever since the first English language dictionaries were created. Modern language has added many words to the daily vocabulary since then, giving it a different hue as a lot of slang found its way into it too, not to forget a bit of profanity. However, no-one even thought about infusing the dictionaries with words that the real estate industry uses regularly. This has left us no option but to take the onus upon ourselves to do the honours of preparing a comprehensive list of such “realty-specific” words so the world wakes up to the contribution of realtors to English language.
Buyer
Generally defined as a person who is interested in buying a home. However, it can include the entire neighbourhood and half of the city. It is left to the realtor’s discretion to classify them into various categories like Unqualified, Let’s-have-a-look-and-later-decide, Just Pastime and Genuine.
Client
This is someone who actually gets into a verbal (written agreement. what’s that?) understanding with the realtor. Once the understanding is in place, the client has the liberty to go through mood changes like surfing through TV channels. He/she could become impatient, emotionally-charged, excited, nervous and generally unbalanced or all of the above at the same time. This can continue till the time the sale or purchase is actually inked and is considered to be completely normal behaviour.
Closing
Also known as a Done-Deal, this is the time when the sale of a home is confirmed and all the hard work, sleepless nights, endless phone calls and unending meetings finally culminated in a hand-shake. It also means the realtor will now get paid for his contribution in bringing the buyer & seller on a common platform (Sorry, cannot disclose how much). Hurrah! Time to fill up the groceries at home this month. Of course, taxes, office rent, staff salaries remain but that’s another story.
Commission
This is the Holy Grail, the reason why realtors slog all year round and is completely non-negotiable. This could be a teeny-weeny percentage of the flat value or a predetermined amount that barely covers the expenses and leaves a bit to splurge on necessities like refuelling the car, bike or mobile talk-time (not necessarily in that order). Try reducing this amount at the time of settling the payment and terrible things are known to befall the doer. Don’t try to negotiate. Period.
Home Loan Companies
This is the only support a buyer has when there is no ancestral property to fall back on or any inheritance from long-lost uncles or aunts. Home Loans provide enough money to purchase a property as long as you are will to work 18 hours a day and part with a substantial part of your salary. However, it makes sense to apply with a professional financial lender or bank as documentation could take up a lot of time and effort. Better still, an experienced Realtor could play the guide in this treacherous journey to seek a loan.
Realtor
This is a unique breed of humans who have immense stamina and strength to run all around the city with a client in tow, showing around properties, cracking jokes, treating buyers to lunches or the occasional drink and even working weekends (Can you imagine that?) Juggling two mobile phones, the office landline, the tab and the laptop is an art Realtors are experts at, with potential to multitask while on the move. (Also refer to Superhero in Webster/Oxford Dictionary)
Seller
This word can be defined as a person who wants to sell his home. The seller can have inflated figures in their heads about the value of their homes and would want to extract the same amount from the buyer (read Realtor). These figures could be inclusive of those fancy bath fittings recently installed, the fresh paint and even the remodelled kitchen. Sellers generally expect these additions to provide handsome returns but a professional realtor can drill the right sense in them if provided with a suitable opportunity.
Vacation
This is a pleasurable activity that individuals and families treat themselves to when they are tired or in routine life and want to rejuvenate themselves. Realtors are unheard of indulging in anything remotely connected to leisure and relaxation. Consistent efforts are being made to sensitize realtors about this essential break, but with no success.
Work Schedule
Strictly speaking, a Realtor does carry his diary (nowadays a tab) to remind him of appointments, to-do lists, grocery lists, PTA meetings and what not. All this is subject to change the moment a client calls and generally the personal to-do items are struck off first. Work goes on 7 days a week, 365 days a year and schedules are made and remade on a regular basis.